Below are some statements young people might make that hint at one or more underlying feelings.
Think of responses that accept the child’s feelings.
Write your answers below the statement.
Example: I didn’t ever think that I’d get a 95 on the math test. It was so hard. Possible responses: It sounds like you’re surprised that you did so well…or…Are you feeling proud of what you did?
Remember, acknowledging feelings does not mean agreement.
- Steve and those kids I told you about want me to join their club. Can you believe it?
- I don’t care if Amy didn’t invite me. She’s not my friend anymore.
- I’m going to fail the test anyway no matter what you say!
- Dad (or Mom or ______) is going to kill me when s(h)e finds out I lost my jacket.
- They pick on me all the time. Nobody likes me.
- I hate her (about his or her teacher). She never answers anybody’s questions.
Adapted from Smart School Leaders: Leading with Emotional Intelligence by Janet Patti and James Tobin